Balancing of Politically Correct Racist Jokes

Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese,

the French (including French Canadians) etc etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims?


We need to level the playing field for the sake of political correctness…..


Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:

muslim

 

1. If you refine heroin for a living,
but you have a moral objection to liquor,
You may be a Muslim.

 

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher,
but you can’t afford shoes,
You may be a Muslim.

 

3. If you have more wives than teeth,
You may be a Muslim.

 

4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand
but consider bacon to be unclean,
You may be a Muslim.

 

5. If you think vests come in two styles:
Bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim 

 

6. If you can’t think of anyone
you haven’t declared jihad against,
You may be a Muslim.

 

7. If you consider television dangerous
but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
You may be a Muslim.

 

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones
have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
You may be a Muslim.

 

9. If you have nothing against women
and think every man should own at least four,
You may be a Muslim.

 

10. If you find this offensive   and don’t forward it,
You may be a Muslim.


bomb

God Bless and keep reading

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The Bizarre Situation of the Province

robertghizwes_sheridan_mediumThanks to the mess created by Robert Ghiz in not fulfilling is obligations to the Province, we now find ourselves in a very bizarre situation. Ghiz has failed to do things correctly by resigning and allowing the government to appoint an interim leader. He has told the sitting members he will stay on until no later than February 2015. On full pay of course. However, during that time he doesn’t plan to do any work as he is tired and needs to spend time with his family!  What this has done is create a ridiculous leadership contenders race. That in itself is not the major problem or issue. Its the fact that in the very short time frame the only probably candidates will come from within the government and no doubt from several cabinet members. That certainly does not get me excited about the future. I can’t see a clean sweep happening and a new group of fresh new faces eager to set a new course for the Province. We are probably looking at one of a handful of deadwood cabinet ministers throwing their hats into the ring. None in my opinion are leadership material, they remind me of a flock of sheep who have lost their weary Sheppard. The first one to begin his run appears to be Wes Sheridan (the million dollar man) he is already suggesting tax breaks. This coming from the man who slipped the infamous HST onto islanders backs right after the last election. No mention was made before the election, in fact we were told there were no ongoing talks/negotiations about the HST. I emailed Sheridan as soon as the HST became fact. I asked why heating oil was exempt but electricity wasn’t. I pointed out that not everyone used oil to heat their homes, but everyone used electricity, that the oil furnace need electricity to run. No sympathy, he said he could only exempt a few items, and he felt oil was more important. Guess what? on Compass tonight Sheridan said he is looking at exempting electricity. However, it wouldn’t be until after the election. So it looks to me like he has begun his run for the leadership and is already making empty promises about the things he will do. Don’t be fooled folks, this guy talks the talk but he doesn’t walk the walk. Remember if we don’t learn from history we are bound to repeat it. Don’t be fooled this time around.

God Bless and keep reading

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Poor Weary Young Robert Ghiz

robertghiz Forgive me if I allow sarcasm to creep into this blog regarding Robert Ghiz and his recent announcement to step down as Leader of the Provincial Liberal Government of PEI.  Ghiz surprised just about everyone by announcing his intentions the day after the Speech from the Throne. Apparently poor Robert is tired! and would appreciate if the Liberal Party would hold a convention to elect a new leader no later than January/February of 2015. In the meantime he will continue as leader but wont be around much.  He probably wont be attending question period or much of anything else related to running the Province.  Oh! but he will in all likelihood show up on pay days as usual!!! Now, maybe I’m being unsympathetic, perhaps even a wee bit unkind, but his excuses seem pretty weak. He tells us he is tired and has lost interest and needs to spend more time with his young family.  I find this bit very hard to understand, here is a young man of 40 years with a young family that he tells us he needs to spend more time with. I would venture there are at least fifty thousand young fathers in this Province (million across Canada) that would also like to spend more time with there families. However, the problem is most of these young fathers have to earn (I emphasis earn) a living in order to support their children. Many of these young fathers are gone for months at a time working away from their families and their homes. So you can see my problem here right???? What makes Robert Ghiz think he is different from any other hard working parent. Surely he can’t think he is extra special, more deserving, more privileged. Then again, maybe he does, maybe he thinks he should stay at home and the Tax payers should continue to pay his salary. A salary that in most cases is more than double what most other young Island fathers earn. Maybe he thinks he has done such a great job of running this province he should be rewarded. Maybe he thinks us nasty Islanders are never satisfied and complain about everything just for the sake of complaining. I can’t write any more because I simply get too angry and use inappropriate words on my otherwise family friendly blog. I will tell you I’m no longer a young father, I was once and many a day I was tired, many a day I didn’t feel like going to go to work.  But I did because I had a young family to support and that is what fathers do in the real world..Robert Ghiz should be ashamed of himself and he should resign now. The Government should appoint an interim leader until a permanent leader can be properly elected and within a reasonable time frame. Finally I have added an Article from Alan Holman, I don’t always agree with Alan’s views but in this case I do.

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How To Spoil A Persons Weekend!!!!

arsenal pennentMy weekend has well and truly been spoiled, first Arsenal manage to lose to Manchester United 2-1 in a game that they should have won very handily. They controlled the game had dozens of corners. 75% of the possession and several golden opportunities to score. Yet they managed to lose it all. In my Federal district  the Liberals elected a new candidate to run in the next Federal election. Well he is not new at all, Robert Morrissey is an old hack, a Provincial Liberal from the 1990’s. Why this party feel they have to use recycled candidates is beyond me, but on the bright side, I suppose it could be good news for Herb Dickison the NDP candidate. Finally we have that infamous Provincial minister of finance and of HST fame Wes Sheridan. He is being investigated for a free trip to London UK provided by a Gaming organization. Does “Geo Sweep” come to mind? a four million investment of tax payers dollars in a game that is yet to be successful. Hmm, not a heck of a lot to cheer about this weekend, lets hope there are better things around the corner.

God Bless and keep reading

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A Day To Remember. Nov 21st 1918

300px-HMS_Caroline

Armistice Day is remembered as the day World War One ended, but for naval historians Britain’s greatest victory came 10 days later. Operation ZZ was the code name for the surrender of Germany’s mighty navy.

For those who witnessed “Der Tag” or “The Day” it was a sight they would never forget – the greatest gathering of warships the world had ever witnessed.

It was still dark in the Firth of Forth when the mighty dreadnoughts of the Royal Navy’s Grand Fleet began to raise steam and one by one let slip their moorings.

The huge shapes of more than 40 battleships and battlecruisers began to ease out, course set due east. As the procession of steel headed for the open water of the North Sea, more than 150 cruisers and destroyers joined them. The mightiest fleet ever to sail from Britain’s shores was heading for a final rendezvous with its mortal enemy – the German High Seas Fleet.

Victory would be total. But there was to be no battle. After four years of naval stalemate, this was the day when Germany would deliver her warships into British hands, without a shot being fired.

The date was 21 November 1918. World War One had ended on land 10 days earlier, but this was to be the decisive day of victory at sea.

Bravo Zulu.

God Bless and keep reading

Posted in HM Submarines, HMS Cockade, hms ganges, military, The Royal Navy & Me, veterans | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks

Bill and his wife Blanche go to the state fair every year, and every year Bill would say, “Blanche, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

Blanche always replied, “I know Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said, “Blanche, I’m 75 years old.

If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”

To this, Blanche replied, “Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word its fifty dollars.”

Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word…

When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”

Bill replied, “Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Blanche fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

God Bless and keep reading

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Sweet Smelling Bus!!!

gas cars00003cfb_medium_bristol bus79124986_hi024788137A new Bio Bus from Bristol!! it runs on human waste, No S–t! Yes S–t.  Its not a completely new idea, during the war years many cars often ran with a bag of gas on the roof (see photo). However, using human waste is surely an available and renewal source of fuel for the future. Heck, maybe if they had an on board toilet they could keep the bus running indefinitely!!! What is known as perpetual motion!!! Joking aside, if we can use such waste materials from humans, maybe animals this could be a valuable source of energy. It could also be good for the planet, fossil fuels are clearly not the way of the future, we need to change and sooner rather than later. Climate change is not just something batted around by scientists, it is real and not getting better.

The new bus runs with a dome like roof where the gas is carried and fed to a engine similar in design to a diesel engine. The exhaust is odor free and from what I can determine, harmless.

  • A single passenger’s annual food and sewage waste would fuel the Bio-Bus for 37 miles (60km)
  • Its combustion engine is similar in design to diesel equivalents in conventional buses
  • Compressed gas is stored in dome-like tanks on the roof of the Bio-Bus
  • The gas is generated through anaerobic digestion – where oxygen starved bacteria breaks down biodegradable material to produce methane-rich biogas
  • To power a vehicle, the biogas undergoes “upgrading”, where carbon dioxide is removed and propane added
  • Impurities are removed to produce virtually odour free emissions
  • Compared to conventional diesel vehicles, up to 30% less carbon dioxide is emitted

It is time we moved forward with these new ideas, the Indian car that runs on compressed air and now the Bio Bus. I wonder what the planet will look like in the next hundred years. Think back to what it looked like 100 years ago, with the emerging automobile industry. We have an exciting future ahead.

God Bless and keep reading

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Who is this Jack Schitt????

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? number2 And No, he’s not Adolph”s brother
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’
Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the Indian fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack. 

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla  Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.

She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.

God Bless and keep reading

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Get Your Finger Out to Call me????

telephone100_0573My grand daughter Melissa laughs at my flip phone and tells me it is an antique! I think of it as quite up to date compared to what we once used to communicate with when I was her age.

In this age of cell phones, I phones, Skype calls and whatever other communication devices are out there, I’m often scoffed at because I’m unsure how to use these items.
I was raised in a different era when working class people didn’t have telephones in their homes. We didn’t have a phone in our pocket, purse or attached to a belt. We didn’t need a phone because no one else that we knew had one either. Sometimes I’m teased for my ineptness when attempting to use an I phone. While they think I’m kinda dumb I wonder if they could  explain and operate the telephone in my blog photo. How about the phone box? Would they know to have the correct change?. Would they know what to do when the operator came on the line and told them how much to deposit?. Would they know where to deposit the money?. What if the line didn’t answer? would they know which button to push to get their money back. If the line did answer would they know which button to push to speak? Could they make a phone call the way I did those many years ago? I suspect Melissa and youths from her age group might struggle to make a call on such a complicated piece of equipment. So don’t scoff at us old folks, we were as smart in our day as you think you are today with your fancy Blackberry and I pads. But what about texting??? you ask, can you do that???. Actually the answer is yes, we would text often, but in those days it was called writing! using a fountain pen! Oh!! I almost forgot to mention, in order the call me you will have to get your finger out.

God Bless and keep reading, or call me if you know how???

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Royal Canadian Legion

ww2medalsThe wearing of medals as allowed by law in Canada.legion

I might be opening a can of worms here but I sincerely believe its time we took a second look at this law which forbids anyone but the winner of medals to wear them. Its not clear to me why this was considered a necessary law in Canada. It is quite permissible for a next of kin in the UK-Australia-New Zealand to wear deceased veterans medals, as long as they are worn on the right side. I can only imagine the pride of a young child attending a Remembrance Day parade and wearing his/her late fathers/grandfathers medals. What could be wrong with this? are we to believe it is better to keep these medals hidden from view. I feel particularly strong about this subject because World War two veterans are now thin on the ground and with them their medals. There was a time when Second World War medals were the most prominent of medals at any parade. If the law cannot be changed these medals will surely disappear from sight. I realize there are medals displayed at many Legion Branches, but there are many more in shoe boxes, drawers and perhaps in frames over the mantle piece.  The War medals and Campaign Stars are a valuable part of our history and should be displayed whenever possible. On the 10th Nov 2014 I spoke at an Island school Remembrance Day ceremony and afterward mingled with some of the children, they were all very interested in my medals. They wanted to touch them ask questions about them,  ask how I won them. Surely the whole purpose of Remembrance day is to remember? and what better way than allowing the medals of deceased veterans to be worn by proud relatives. The only argument against that I have heard is a rather weak one in this day and age, “They didn’t earn them” that is not much of an argument in my opinion. I realize there will always be the phoney, such as the imposter sergeant with a chest full of medals at the National Memorial Services this year. It has happened before and no doubt will happen again and there is little we can do about it. However, this is not about imposters its about remembering our veterans. I caught the glimpse on the TV of an Ottawa spectator wearing Second World War medals on his right side. It indicates some people are already ignoring this law! Finally I’d like to add this point. When the Rustico Branch #13 closed its doors for the final time, they had a very impressive medal display. I suggested the whole display could be placed in trust at the local school, the idea was turned down. The medals were returned to the families of the former owners and have now probably disappeared for all time. In my own case I’m already 75 and my days are surely numbered, I would be very proud to know that my Grandchildren might continue to wear my medals to future Remembrance Day Ceremonies.

God Bless an d keep reading

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