Do The Math First!!!

I’m almost 18 years old in the photo?????IMG

…Letter to his wife
My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs
that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy.

I am very happy with you and I value you as a good
wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you
will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending
the evening at the Comfort Inn Hotel with Chantelle, my
18 year old secretary.
Please don’t be upset … I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the
following letter on the dining room table ….
My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my
being 54 years old.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you
are also 54 years old.

As you know, I am a mathematics teacher at our local college.

I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will
be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who
is also the assistant Rugby coach. He is young, virile and
like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with a mathematical brain,
you will understand that we are in the same situation,
although with one small difference …
18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

God Bless and keep reading.

 

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Now This is a Car Ad!!!

003I shall have to be careful filling up, wouldn’t want this to happen to the Mini. Nevertheless, this is the best automotive ad I have seen in Years!! It makes those stupid Dodge Ram ads look ridiculous Guts-Glory-Ram be damned

God Bless and keep reading
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Three Wise Men??? Unlikely!!!!

three wise menIf you read the three statements below I think you will agree we have a serious shortage of even one wise man in our government today!! maybe some camel dung in the halls of power but not a wise man in sight or a bright star to guide them.

These three statements tell you a lot about our government and our culture:

 

1. We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, while also encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics.  Funny how that works.

And another statement for consideration …

2. We constantly hear about how Canada Pension Plan (CPP) is going to run out of money.  Why is it that we never hear about welfare running out of money? What’s interesting is the first group ‘worked for their money,’ and the second didn’t.  Funny how that works.

Finally …

3. Provincial Social Services (welfare payments) is proud, this year, to be distributing the greatest amount of free money ever.  Meanwhile, the Parks Branch, asks us ‘Please Do Not Feed the Animals.’  The stated reason for this policy is because ‘The animals will grow dependent on handouts, and they will not learn to take care of themselves.’  Funny how that works.

  That ends today’s Lesson On Irony and Logic … Don’t you love these lessons?

Perhaps there is some hope after all, I have heard the rumour that there is at least one wise women near by. Oops the wise one is calling me!   coming dear.

God Bless and keep reading

 

 

 

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Christmas Card from 1964

00100224883alcide_auriga_halifax_63It is at this time of year that my thoughts return to a Christmas past. I remember my first Christmas in Canada in 1964 and how different it was from my homeland of Ireland. The biggest difference I recall was the size of the family Christmas tree. In Belfast our tree was usually just big enough to set on a table in the front window. I was awed as a child seeing the glow of many coloured lights blinking and flashing in the windows as I walked up my street. Now in Canada in 1964 I see decorations on front lawns, houses outlined in hundreds of lights. Huge trees in living rooms, they reach from the floor to the ceiling loaded with so many sparkling decorations and tinsel. Christmas carols and music floating in the air outside the busy snow covered sidewalks as shoppers dash in and out of  stores filled with Christmas fare. It was probably one of the most compelling reasons for my desire to return to Canada and make it my home after I left the Navy. I fulfilled that dream on the 18th January 1967 when I stepped of the Cunard liner at Pier 21 in  Halifax. Wonderful memories of a time now gone forever. However, I do have one small reminder of that Christmas long ago, a Christmas card printed for the crew of the submarine Alcide. On the front is the Alcide ships crest, inside a photo of the boat on the surface with a tall ship in the background.  For those wondering why I refer to the submarine as a boat, it is not detrimental but rather the proper term when referring a submarine. Merry Christmas everyone and a wonderful New Year.

God Bless and keep reading.

l

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The End of an Era!

0_around_edinburgh_-_holyrood_park_031184_1024When I think of all the songs that related to the postman and love letters it seems so sad today.  Remember Pat Boone and his “Love letters in the Sand” or Elvis “Mr Postman” and so many tunes all singing about the mail. Here I’m today, its almost Christmas in the year 2014 and so far I have sent out two Christmas cards and received one. Years ago the mantle over the fireplace would have been full of cards and I would have sent out dozens to family and friends. So much has changed in my life time, some things for the better, but it seem a lot more not so good. Often we talk about the good old days, a time when life was simple, a time when the postman came twice a day! Well today did take us back a wee bit in time, gas (petrol) prices have dropped to 99.9 cents per litre. The last time gas was this low was in 2010. However the price of a local postage stamp now costs more that a litre of gas. Thank goodness we have email.

 Like the Eggs and Butter man, the iceman, and the lamp lighters, sadly we have reached the end of the line for the beloved postman. I don’t suppose everyone would agree with my use of the term “Beloved” and no, of course I  wasn’t ever in love with a postman. However, Christmas was that very special time of year when children  keep a lookout for the postman coming down the street with his bulging bag of mail and parcels. As a child I sat at the window anticipating his arrival each morning in the days leading up to Christmas. Would he have a parcel for me, a card or would he disappoint me by passing by. Later when I was older and in the navy the single most important thing we looked forward to when returning to harbour was the mail. Letters from sweethearts and family played a very important roll in the lives of young sailors when far away from home. It was even more special at Christmas when we were on the other side of the world and missing the folks at home. In those days Mail was king, but alas today we have Emails, Facebook and Twitter, nice but not the same as getting that all important card from ones sweetheart.  Oh! dear, thinking of sweethearts what will become of Saint Valentines Day????? No more mystery cards with the words SWALK printed on the back of the envelope. We live in a rapidly changing world and not all the changes are for the better. Sorry I have to go, must check and see if I still have a mail box. And that is my stamp on the Canadian Postal Service announcement.

God Bless and keep reading  —— Merry Christmas Everyone.

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A Special Message at Christmas. Navy-Army-Airforce

HMS Cockade ships company 1956

HMS Cockade ships company 1956

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T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE,
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY,
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO,
IN THIS HOME, DID LIVE.

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.

NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES,OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT,
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR,
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED,
A TRUE BRITISH SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO,
OF WHOM I’D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,

THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALISED THE FAMILIES,
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS,
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWN-UPS WOULD CELEBRATE,
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM,
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN’T HELP WONDER,
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE,
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT
A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED,
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
“SANTA DON’T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON’T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.”

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN’T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL,
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED,
FROM THE COLD NIGHT’S CHILL.

I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE,
ON THAT COLD, DARK NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOUR,
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED “CARRY ON SANTA,
IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.”

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.”

This poem was written by a Peacekeeping soldier stationed overseas.The following is his request. I think it is reasonable.PLEASE would you do me the kind favour of sending this to as

many people as you can?

Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to all

of the service men and women for our being able to celebrate

these festivities.

Let’s try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe.

Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead,

who sacrificed themselves for us.

Please do your small part to plant this small seed.

God Bless and keep reading

 

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Arsenal Win

arsenal10849720_10152706827437713_1120320538915211792_nYeah!!! I know I know!!! I’m a sore loser, but not this week. Arsenal played a great game even with half the first players out injured. Defeating Newcastle was a must and keeps the Gunners in the running for the top four places in the league. Now my weekend will really be complete if Liverpool beat Manchester United today! Off to church now to prayer for a good result, and the forgiveness of my sins of course!

God Bless and keep reading

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What’s for Lunch?

arsenal pennentAnother Saturday is here and there are big games ahead! Arsenal play Newcastle this afternoon. It will be a tough match, remember Newcastle beat Chelsea last week!!! Fingers crossed.

Now about that lunch???

Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and Paddy Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I’m going to jump off this building.”

Paddy Englishman opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Ham and English mustard again! If I get ham and mustard one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”

Paddy Scotsman opened his lunch and said, “Haggis again. If I get a haggis sandwich one more time I’m jumping too.”

Next day Paddy Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.

Paddy Englishman opens his lunch, sees ham and English mustard and jumps too.

Paddy Scotsman opens his lunch, sees the haggis and jumps to his death also.

At the funeral Paddy Englishman’s wife is weeping. She says, “If I’d known how really tired he was of ham and mustard I never would have given it to him again!

Paddy Scotsman’s wife also weeps and says, “I could have given him cheese! I didn’t realise he hated haggis so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at Paddy Irishman’s wife. “Hey, don’t look at me” she said. “He makes his own lunch”

A Texan walks into a pub in Galway, Ireland and raises his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He shouts, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin’ fools. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan’s offer.

Paddy Murphy gets up and leaves the bar. Thirty minutes later, he shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.  “Is your bet still good?” asks Paddy.

The Texan answers, “Yes,” and he orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, Paddy downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back.  The other pub patrons cheer and the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

Paddy Murphy replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

God Bless and keep reading

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The First “Vote for Me”Promise

rob lantzYesterday Rob Lantz announced his intentions to run for the leadership of the Provincial PC party. He opened his campaign with what he thought most Islanders would like to hear! No more cars or credit cards for cabinet minister. Wow, I’ll vote for that guy was heard ringing out across the province, what a great idea. Sure it sounds very good and is certainly something that needs to be done. But have caution here, how many times have we heard politicians telling the public what they think we want to hear? Remember this is more than an leadership race, its also a lead up to an election that these guys want so badly to win. They will be full of promises and always tell us what we want to hear. Be a little more clinical when a candidate comes knocking on your door. Cars and credit cards aside what about the environment, the debt, education, health, seniors, deep water wells, pesticides, taxes. Will they raise the HST, its already been mentioned, what will cabinet ministers receive in lieu of cars/credit cards? How will the new government reduce spending and lower the deficit without raising taxes? Will the new government remove the HST from electricity? The million dollar man (Sheridan) has already hinted that he would do that, That’s so funny when you think about it. He was the guy that put the tax on electricity in the first place and when confronted by Islanders said he couldn’t do anything about it. He could only exempt a few items and oil was more important. Be cynical when you listen to these people, don’t rush to believe what they are telling you, remember if you vote them in you and I are stuck with them for at least the next four years.  Red or Blue! not a hell of a difference here, just the wearing of a different coloured tie in the house, little else will change. The PC’s, if they win will blame everything on the Liberals and that will be their excuse for doing the things they say need to be done. We’ve heard it all before and we will hear it all again if we elect another majority government. Its really time to mix things up, elect a handful of NDP and Green party members please!!! This will bring about a balance and a real change in direction for the Island. The time of two old tired, tried and not trusted parties is over (I hope) its time for some really new people on the scene. Finally some food for thought ! if we do nothing about the environment now, in a few years nothing else will matter, not health or education. If that is not a concern for you it should be. My last word is this, did the extraordinary rain fall we just had have anything to do with climate change?? and have you checked your basement??

God Bless and keep reading

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Sour Grapes from the Province PC’s Past (Ballem)

Ballemolive_craneWith a new PC leadership race underway one might consider who the back room boys are backing this time? They have no compunction in stabbing people in the back if they don’t want them as leader. Just ask Olive Crane. It was so obvious when she won the last PC leadership race by the angry look on Ballem’s face, he didn’t even have the good manners to congratulate her on the stage. As most already know she didn’t last long before she was ousted by a back room conspired action. Was Ballem a part of that? almost certainly he was.   So who do the back rooms boys like this time around? I’m guessing it is Rob Lantz! I can’t imagine they’d back Ms Compton, heck she’s a woman!!! Whatever the outcome this will be another nasty under cover fight. It makes me wonder if we shouldn’t used our votes for any party other than the Conservatives and Liberals. Might not be a bad idea to have a few NDP and Greens in the house and no majority government. Maybe then we will get the Island finances in order. See my post from the last leadership race below.

 

Having just viewed the CBC Compass interview with Jamie Ballem I have to think he is a sore loser. And by refusing to join Olive and the other three candidates at a dinner I believe he has done the conservative party serious damage. In the Compass interview I was amazed that he all but accused the other candidates of lying and conspiracy. That’s hardly something new in politics of course its more often referred to as Spin Doctoring these days. A sad ending indeed,  almost like saying “if I can’t be the next premier, nor will you. I bet the Liberals are very happy!!!!
Cheers and keep reading.

So folks!!! what to do????? my advice vote Green and if you can’t vote Green vote NDP.

God Bless and keep reading.

Posted in monkey business, politics, Prince Edward Island | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments