My Thoughts as I Age

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The things I think about these days are so much different from my thoughts of 30 or 40 years ago.
Growing old is okay in my book.
As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 & 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what I could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

God Bless and keep reaing

About irishroverpei

Author of "Lily & Me", "The Royal Navy & Me" and Chapter XXl Armageddon. Writer, blogger and RN Submariner, antique automobile enthusiast.
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2 Responses to My Thoughts as I Age

  1. Francis says:

    Hey, Irishrover – I know what you mean as I enter the first month of receiving my old age pension or OAS as it has come to be called, I think. I have arrived at most of the points you talk about and if not, at least recognize what I am aiming for. Yes, there are some that I have yet to conquer and I regret being slow to get there. I have this understanding that, the more we can accept ourselves, the better state we are existing. I know I should not let myself be slowed in reaching this state of existence. If there is anything I regret about my past I am probably remembering those things that are not remembered, anymore, by the people that were involved. What I am talking about are the times I behaved in such a way as to cause dissappointment in people that thought better of my talents. But quite likely, these people understood that I was human and had no great surprise that I went off course and easily forgave my actions.

    To be more positive, I do convince myself that I have come a long and good way in life. Being human, I keep wishing that certain things would be a bit better, but that can be because of not fully being appreciative of what I have presently. Not being appreciative is kind of stupid in a way, because my next medical checkup could reveal that I will die in a very short while. How would I feel about that? Why am I not wise enough to live as if that were the reality. For all I know, today could be my last day. So, to get back to your point, it is a privilage to be older. It is a privilage to be allowed the experience. It is a state that was not promised. It is a condition that we never knew whether or not we would ever have. We may even have the experience of many more years. I think that we always keep in mind how important mental and physical health is if we are going to be able to live those years yet to come our way. When someone wishes me ‘good health’ I hope that their words are a source of providing that power to remain with me.

    Good health to you, Ben, and greetings and good health to Linda. – Francis

    • irishroverpei says:

      Thank you Francis, we are indeed fortunate and for me from this moment on each day is a victory of life. Some people fear what might be ahead, there is absolutely nothing we can do about the future but to enter it, so I enjoy the time I have remaining, be it a day or a decade.
      God Bless Ben

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