What’s for Lunch?


arsenal pennentAnother Saturday is here and there are big games ahead! Arsenal play Newcastle this afternoon. It will be a tough match, remember Newcastle beat Chelsea last week!!! Fingers crossed.

Now about that lunch???

Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Scotsman were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and Paddy Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I’m going to jump off this building.”

Paddy Englishman opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Ham and English mustard again! If I get ham and mustard one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”

Paddy Scotsman opened his lunch and said, “Haggis again. If I get a haggis sandwich one more time I’m jumping too.”

Next day Paddy Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.

Paddy Englishman opens his lunch, sees ham and English mustard and jumps too.

Paddy Scotsman opens his lunch, sees the haggis and jumps to his death also.

At the funeral Paddy Englishman’s wife is weeping. She says, “If I’d known how really tired he was of ham and mustard I never would have given it to him again!

Paddy Scotsman’s wife also weeps and says, “I could have given him cheese! I didn’t realise he hated haggis so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at Paddy Irishman’s wife. “Hey, don’t look at me” she said. “He makes his own lunch”

A Texan walks into a pub in Galway, Ireland and raises his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He shouts, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin’ fools. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan’s offer.

Paddy Murphy gets up and leaves the bar. Thirty minutes later, he shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.  “Is your bet still good?” asks Paddy.

The Texan answers, “Yes,” and he orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, Paddy downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back.  The other pub patrons cheer and the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

Paddy Murphy replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

God Bless and keep reading

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About irishroverpei

Author of "Lily & Me", "The Royal Navy & Me" and Chapter XXl Armageddon. Writer, blogger and RN Submariner, antique automobile enthusiast.
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