A Little Sunday Humour!!!


Murphy’s Law????three amogos

Enough to make a dog laugh

Bloke at a horse race whispers to Murphy next to him, “Do you want the winner of the next race?”

Murphy replies “No tanks, I’ve only got a small garden.”

Murphy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick, “What if one explodes before we get there?”
Murphy, “We’ll lie and say we only found two!”
A coach load of Paddies on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going. The driver won £52!
‘Murphy’s racing snail is not winning races anymore. So he decided to take its shell off to reduce its weight and make him more aerodynamic.  It didn’t work; if anything it made him more sluggish.
Murphy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it.  He phones the police and says, “Bejesas, I’ve just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb.
The operator asks, “Is it tickin?  Paddy says, “No I tink it’s beef
More Murphy.Joe says to ,
Murphy “Close your curtains the next time you’re making love to your wife. The whole street was watching yesterday, and laughing at you.”

Murphy says, “Well the joke’s on them, stupid, because I wasn’t even at home yesterday.”

Mick walks into Murphy’s barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor.  Mick says, “Oh, no, Murphy, what ya doing?” Murphy  says, “Well me and Mary haven’t been getting on in the bedroom lately (since lying about the toast I won!)  and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor.”

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tons of sand from the Arabs, and they’re going to drill for their own oil.

Murphy says to Mick, “I’m ready for a holiday, only this year I’m going to do it a bit different.  3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.  2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.  Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.  Mick asks, “So what are you going to do this year?”  Murphy replies, “I’ll take her with me!”

Mick  says to Murphy, “Christmas is on a Friday this year.” Murphy says, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”

‘Murphy’s in the bathroom and Mick shouts to him. “Did you find the shampoo?” Murphy  says, “Yes, but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine.”

God Bless and keep reading.

                                                          I’ll drink to that birthday 2011 003

 

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About irishroverpei

Author of "Lily & Me", "The Royal Navy & Me" and Chapter XXl Armageddon. Writer, blogger and RN Submariner, antique automobile enthusiast.
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