It was Sammy McNulty that done it, for he was always swinging the lead. And one bloody day as he swung it, he hit me a blow on the head. Get up says he trying to shift me, I never heard one word he said. Are yea dead says he trying to lift me, but I wasn’t dead I was Dead.
Of course I went straight up to Heaven, its 3 million miles passed the sun, I arrived at a quarter past seven in the year of 3001. I met a big lad at the door way, says I, am just in from Belfast, is that so says your lad, sure I’m from Galway but we’ll let an auld prod in at last . I said like I was happy to meet him and asked what I should do. Come with me, said your lad and I’ll show you,, we have a special department for you. He led me down a long hallway, where it led to he wouldn’t say. But I soon got the message when I saw a sign board pointing the Hell. Och says I for God sake have pity, now its all for your sins of the past and he led me right in til a city, a place the dead spit a Belfast. Is yon hell says I quite astounded, it is so indeed said your lad. Och well now if that’s hell it can’t be too bad. But the whole thing was very provoking, here was a place I knew well. Och surely to God they were joking surely Belfast wasn’t hell. But there God love it, the auld city hall stood in state, with the Tri Colour flying above it and two civic guards at the gate. That was only the start of my torment, I was soon to learn all the facts. The Pope was living in Stormount and Paisley was cleaning the jacks. The Head of the Great Orange Order had long ago given himself up, the republic had abolished the border and Linfield was out of the cup. All the Mickies had lovely fat faces and the Prods were all queuing for soup, there was Fenian’s in all the high places and McClamer was playing at the Group. To the shipyard I hurried like lightening, I knowed I’d find orangemen there. But what I did find ,it was frightening, speaking in Gaelic they were. The whole bloody city was stinking, there was nowhere a prod could go. It was desperate thoughts I was thinking, then it came in a flash , Sandy Row, I knew they would be loyal to Lizzy. So off I went at a dash. But when I got there they were busy building a Catholic church. Building a Catholic church. I went back where yer lad had brought me, he was having snooze at the door, I tried to get by but he caught me. Now you can’t get away from your fate. Says I, I don’t like where you brought me if I’d knowed I’d never have come. Says he standing a fore me , sure in here we all are the same, in here perfect freedom is given, to wander about it is well. Its just that some think its heaven and then again some think its hell. I’m a ghost now, but I’m just a beginner, but if I was a mortal again I’d be nice to the micks and sinn-ers and I’d write to the Pope now and then. Every man on this earth is your brother so don’t write those things on the wall. If we just loved one another we’d find out there’s no hell at all.
God Bless and keep reading