The PC government announced today the first of their promised carbon tax rebates. It will be delivered through their new austerity belt measures program. This rebate is in the form of a good quality (imitation) leather belt. The belt comes with several extra adjustment tightening holes. Any islander who is walking jogging or cycling to work (or unemployed) and finds difficulty holding their pants up due to weight loss may be eligible. Apply by visiting the office of the Minister of Finance on Monday thru Thursdays during working hours from 11am to 12 noon. If office closed during these times, the minister may be at the local garage having her bicycle rack fitted. It is recommended you check back the following week. Please note this generous program will expire once the supply (one dozen) of these beautiful belts are gone. As an alternative the minister suggests using suitable length of sturdy rope, which she can provide for a minimal charge.
God Bless and tighten your belt.
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