Weekend Funnies


At the test centre 

Nurse: Have you experienced a sudden loss of taste?

Me: No, I’ve always dressed this way…..

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Interview at an IT Company

Job Interviewer: “So what makes you suitable for this job?”

Job Applicant. “I hacked your computer and invited myself for this interview!”

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Care and Feeding

The doctor was giving the new mother instructions on the care of her first baby.

“Actually, it’s quite simple,” he said. “Just keep one end full and the other end dry and clean.”

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Depression

There’s a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just chugs it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand seeing a man crying.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I’m late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife left me. I leave home and come to this bar.

And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!”

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Starting a Zoo 

To start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and a polar….

It’s the bear minimum.

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Another Virus 

Are you sweating while putting fuel in your car?

Feeling sick when paying for it?

You’ve got Carowner virus

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

About irishroverpei

Author of "Lily & Me", "The Royal Navy & Me" and Chapter XXl Armageddon. Writer, blogger and RN Submariner, antique automobile enthusiast.
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