A Wee bit of Scottish Humour

One morning a Scotsman is having breakfast in Paris, (coffee, croissants, bread, butter andheilan-cooirish marmalade) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Scotsman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation..
Frenchman: ‘You Scots folk eat the whole bread?’
Scotsman (in a bad mood): ‘Of course.’
Frenchman (after blowing a huge bubble): ‘We don’t. In France , we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Scotland .’ The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The Scotsman listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: ‘Do you eat marmalade with your bread?’
Scotsman: ‘Of course.’
Frenchman (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling): ‘We don’t. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into marmalade, and sell the marmalade to Scotland.’
After a moment of silence, the Scotsman asks: ‘Do you have sex in France ?’
Frenchman: ‘Why of course we do’, he says with a big smirk.
Scotsman: ‘And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?’
Frenchman: ‘We throw them away, of course.’
Scotsman: ‘We don’t. In Scotland , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France .’

God Bless and keep reading

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A Mystery behind the legion pretend Medals

medals2This is just a small sampling of the many available legion medals. Most are awarded but a few can be purchased by any member and worn on their legion uniforms.150-medalbeaumont-hamel Only $25 ea plus P&P.

I have tried to discover when and why these pretend medals were first adopted by the legion? I cannot find any reference to them searching the web and have not bothered to ask Dominion Command. Its unlikely they would respond with any kind of definitive answer in any case. That only leaves the option to speculate, but perhaps someone with a great knowledge than I will offer the answer. In speculating, I imagine these medals began to appear after the Second World War. In the early 1950’s the legions were filled with veterans. Parades would have seen the many WW2 vets wearing their war medals.ww2medals

These medals would have been a common sight at the time,  perhaps the few associate members (probably relatives of veterans lost in the war) felt a little inadequate. Its possible that veterans themselves promoted the legion medals? Maybe they felt bad for the few associates. I imagine those associates in the 1950’s were very dedicated and hard working. I’m sure the veterans running the branches would have appreciated their help.  However, if this were accurate rather than just speculation it would have presented a great opportunity.  Would this not have been an ideal time to amend section 419 of the criminal code. If blood relatives had been allowed to wear their late loved ones medals on the right breast, legion medals would never have been necessary! Today there are so my associates wearing so many of these legion medals it is next to impossible to have them banned. Today, it is the associates running the legion and making the rules. It is the associates that now parade in greater numbers wearing a right chest full of these ridiculous medals. Dominion Command continue to struggle with the questions of plummeting membership numbers. Yet they fail to see the reasons for this failure, while the answers are staring them in the face. One final point I’d like to make, last year Tom Eagles (then Dominion president)attended meetings in the UK with the Royal British and Scottish legions. In several photos he is seen at legion functions not wearing his eleven legion medals. The UK legions do not wear such medals, instead use lapel pins. One couldtomeagles2 speculate he was too embarrassed to wear his silly medals in such company???????

God Bless and keep reading

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Stolen Valour.

 

While this story is the other side of the coin, it nevertheless pinpoints the careless attitude legionthe Legion has toward membership. If we can have members parading and wearing medals they are not entitled too, how about the civilian members?  Are we to assume all our associate members have a honest and open background? Surely the legion needs to be a little more proactive over who may or may not join. Presently, it appears the Legion is happy to sign up anyone who walks through the doors of a branch these days. Membership has become an obsession with Dominion Command, and not surprisingly so considering the plummeting numbers. However, sign up anyone and everyone will not save this organization.

The Royal Canadian Legion Branch 297 in Cornwall has had its first vice-president resigned

amid allegations of — and his apology for — untrue claims of military service and successes.paratrooper

Arthur Murray, a 14-year member of the Legion who was elected to the first vice-president position last June, handed in his resignation to president Linda Fisher.

“We knew nothing (about the misrepresentation), this was such a shock,” Fisher said Tuesday.

Stolen Valour Canada, an all-veteran, all-volunteer organization aiming to expose imposters posing as military personnel or veterans, levelled allegations against Murray, who was also the cadet liason. The organization has posted what it says is a written apology from Murray.

The story has been told on the U.S. website “This Ain’t Hell – But you can see it from here.”

The website said the story came to it from Stolen Valour Canada, when the organization was asked to comment upon photographic images of Murray, of Cornwall, attending Remembrance Day services in the city.

Stolen Valour Canada said among Murray’s claims was that he was an artilleryman in the Canadian Forces, was a qualified CF parachutist, served in the Canadian Airborne Regiment Battle Group, served with 2 RHCA in Cyprus and received the Canadian Peace Keeping Service and UNFICYP medals.

But, Stolen Valour Canada says, Murray did not complete Canadian Forces recruit training, had fewer than two months of regular force service, was not an artilleryman, never qualified as a CF parachutist, never served in E Bty (Para) 2 RCHA, was never a member of the Canadian Airborne Regiment Battle Group and never served in Cyprus.

“My first feeling when hearing about this was disbelief,” said Ron Racine, the Legion’s third vice-president and its membership chairman. “He (Murray) knows a lot of military information, so I was really in shock when I found out everything there (on the website) was true, I couldn’t believe it.”

Murray was a Legion member for 14 years, which made the news even more difficult to accept.

“It’s hard because it’s like a family here,” said Racine, confirming Murray has also turned in his membership.

Racine noted that Murray was accepted as a Legion member because “he had been in the military – he had proof of that. Because of that background, he could become a member. (But) we don’t ask for full military background.”

The issue is settled, as far as Fisher is concerned.

“For our part, we’ve resolved it because he’s no longer a member, he’s no longer first vice-president,” she said.

An apology from Murray, posted on the This Ain’t Hell blog, reads as follows:

“I am hereby offering my heartfelt apologies for my actions, and I realize that what I did was wrong, and can offer no real reason as to why I did it. I am prepared to suffer the consequences of my actions, and will plead guilty to any charges that are brought against me by the courts.

“The sins I have committed are grievous, and I most certainly did not mean to cause or bring harm to anyone, although I have done harm to myself with my actions.”

The site also reported that information from Stolen Valour Canada indicates Murray has surrendered the bogus medals and insignia to an SVC representative.

Stolen Valour Canada said it had conducted a thorough review of all available records including websites, newspaper articles, photographic images, regimental journals and tour groups, searchable data bases of medal recipients and extracts from military documents in Canada to determine the legitimacy of Murray’s claims.

The Criminal Code of Canada has Sec. 419 on the Unlawful Use of Military Uniforms or Certificates, a punishable offence on summary conviction.

Stolen Valour Canada says the organization’s actions reduces the number of posers, and perhaps makes individuals think twice before falsifying military service.

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My Favourite Motorcars?

How many times have we said, I should have kept that car. In my lifetime I have owned a host of mostly British cars, did have a couple of European and a few North American models. Over the years I have lusted over this model or that model, never satisfied with the car I owned at that particular time. However, one beautiful car stands out in my mind, the 1946 Triumph 1800 Roadster. Alas I never owned one but have driven one, I also liked the Triumph Renown 2000, it was known as the Razor Edge model because of its sharp edges. The smallest model and probably the least successful was the Triumph Mayflower. Many of these were exported to the US and Canada, and I have come close to buying one.  The Roadster and Renown where more scarce over here, a few were sold in the US but I don’t think many ever came to Canada..mayflowerrazor-edgetriumph

 

  • The two seater  roadster was by far the nicest car and came with a most unusual feature for a British car, it had a rumble seat!rumble-seat
  • The rumble seat even had its own windshield, model A’s can’t claim that extra luxury eh!!! Sadly, as beautiful as these cars were their success was quite limited. Prices were high and competition tough, all the auto manufactures were in a race to produce modern new designs. The Second World War was over and the troops were coming home, a new era was beginning. The new generations wanted something modern, sleek, fast and powerful. Alas the four cylinder Triumphs did not meet that demand in the export market. By 1952 Triumph had moved on to the new line of TR’s, a sporty little two seatertriumph-tr2jpg-triumph-tr2-the-triumph-was-more-potent-and-expensive-than_90d2e. This car became a hit and moved onto new and improved models such as the TR3 – TR4 – TR6. I have owned a variety of them but still crave the older Roadster! There are a few for sale today but now well beyond my means. Nevertheless, its nice to reminisce of the cars of yesteryear.
  • God Bless and keep reading
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More Legion Woes!!!

 

  • by  Kurt Langmann – Aldergrove Star
  • Aldergrove posted Feb 17, 2017 at 2:00 PM— updated Feb 17, 2017 at 4:10 PM

    Notes attached to the doors of the Aldergrove Legion informed visitors that the building has been 'temporarily closed under the authority of BC/Yukon Command.'

    Notes attached to the doors of the Aldergrove Legion informed visitors that the building has been ‘temporarily closed under the authority of BC/Yukon Command.’

 

Members of the Aldergrove Royal Canadian Legion branch were taken aback by the surprise closure of the Legion lounge and hall here Thursday night.

Shortly before 9 p.m. officers from the B.C. and Yukon (BC&Y) Command turned up with documentation enabling them to order everyone out of the building, to change the locks and to take over as trustees of the Legion branch.

The trustees cited “irregularities” in the financial records as the reason behind the move by Legion headquarters to take over the Aldergrove Legion’s operations.

“I was among about 70 people in total shock last night,” when the members were evicted from the building, said Aldergrove Legion past president Doug Hadley.

“Command came and said (financial) reporting had not been done right. Jim Diack, treasurer from BC&Y Command is going through the books and a letter is being sent to all members, advising them of the closure.”

Hadley said that the Legion’s smorgasbord tonight (Friday, Feb. 17, 5-7 p.m.) will be permitted to carry on as planned “because we already had taken the meat out to thaw,” said Hadley.

He added that a funeral service planned for Saturday, Feb. 18 will also be permitted, but after that all other planned activities are temporarily suspended, pending the review of the Legion and the decision of BC&Y Command.

Shelley Coburn, manager of branch advisory operations for the Legion’s BC&Y Command, told Black Press that their goal in the review is to “cause as little disturbance to the branch, impact them for as short a time as possible. We want to offer support and give back the branch to its own executive as soon as possible.”

Coburn said she couldn’t go into specifics about the issues or problems at the Aldergrove branch but said they were not strictly about finances. She also noted that it would not be fair to discuss those issues with the press before the review was completed and before the issues and solutions were discussed at an information meeting at the branch.

“The Legion is not a bar operation, we are a service organization. Financial issues are a common problem, but the branches also do tremendous fundraising for bursaries and so on. The Aldergrove community really supports the Legion, tremendous support, but at the end of the day they are all volunteers, and we are here to help support these volunteers and their not-for-profit work,” said Coburn.

“We have performance standards which must be met, and we are here to help when they need that extra support.”

It’s an open secret that the Aldergrove Legion branch has been cutting back on its expenditures due to declining revenues in recent years. However, the branch continues to contribute financially and in other meaningful ways to many important causes in the community. It also has clear title to its real estate holdings, which are valued in excess of $2 million.

Members are hopeful that a restructuring will enable reopening of the branch in short order. In the meantime the Legion members hope to see supporters turn out for the legionsmorgasbord this evening, 5-7 p.m. at the Legion hall.

God Bless and keeping

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Aldergrove Legion Branch

v

  • by  Matthew Claxton – Langley Advance
  • Langley  posted Feb 17, 2017 at 2:00 PMlangleyadvance1legionlegion

 

Members of the Aldergrove Royal Canadian Legion were surprised Thursday night when provincial Legion officials announced their branch was being placed in trusteeship to look into financial irregularities.

“They said it could be a month to several months,” said Sindy Cooper, a member of the Branch #265 executive who organized special events and entertainment.

Cooper said that even the branch executive had no idea what was going on prior to Thursday’s meeting.

A letter from BC/Yukon Legion Command president Marc Tremblay was read out to the members.

It said that the closure was due to the branch’s former treasurer not handing in appropriate command documents at appropriate times.

The RCMP has not been called in and the Command is just looking at the branch’s records right now, said Shelley Coburn, manager of branch advisory operations for the BC/Yukon Command.

According to Cooper, there had been warnings sent from BC/Yukon command about the issue, but they had also gone to the same former treasurer. Cooper said the executive hadn’t heard them.

Coburn declined to say that any current or former executive members were at fault.

“We’re not pointing fingers at anyone,” she said.

Several provincial Legion officials were at Thursday’s meeting, and they said the branch would be shut down shortly.

“A locksmith was there as well,” Cooper said. The locks have been changed.

The branch’s executives have been suspended and were asked to turn over their keys and Legion chequebooks, said Cooper.

“I’m very upset,” she said.

Many of the people at the meeting thought they were just there to vote on whether or not to put a cover charge on for dances and band nights.

The closure will impact Aldergrove Legion members, as well as members and guests from other branches who came to events at Branch #265, Cooper said.

Coburn said the branch will be open again, possibly under trusteeship, as soon as possible.

“There’s no intention to close this branch down [permanently],” Coburn said.

She noted the branch’s support in the community is strong. Aldergrove’s Legion organizes a number of community events each year, most notably the annual Remembrance Day parade and ceremony which draws hundreds or thousands of viewers and participants.

Some events, including previously scheduled funerals, will still take place at the branch, Coburn confirmed.

Some current Legion members are helping out with the process of looking into the finances, which should help things move faster, Coburn said.

God Bless and keep reading

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More Legion Shame

More Shame for the Legion legion

There rarely seems to be any stories about the legion that are uplifting, or provide any hope that there is any hope for this organization.

Hope no longer springs eternal …the Legion glass is no longer half full. It is empty. At least the members are voting their displeasure by not renewing their memberships
as indicated by the attached PDF from the Legion website. So much for their false claims of having 300,000 members. I guess they are believing in ALTERNATIVE FACTS.

 

 


c

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A Little Sunday Humour

 

WARNING FOR ALL MALES  especially Wadewade-the-weasle

Last weekend I saw something at The Army Disposal Shop that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Suzann. What I came across a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety…??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Suzann what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Nigella looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Nigella (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best.

I’m sitting there alone, the cat looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, ‘Don’t do it stupid,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and…

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE… !!!

I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the lounge, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

· My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV.

· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.

· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

· I had no control over the drooling.

· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.

· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! ———————————————————————

I think it would be a good prompter for members of the liberal party. Perhaps we could rename it the Liberalator!!!!A minimum of a three minute zap for Wade.

God Bless and keep reading.donkeyUntitled attachment 00046

 

Reply |

 

Weekday evenings we are subjected to an hour long program of island news “Compass”  But do we really get news?   The other evening fifty or more parents-teachers-students staged a protest over school closures. They had hoped to meet with the Premier to state their concerns. However, he must have been more transparent than usual because he managed to sneak into the building without one protester seeing him. Whatever he thinks, it is wrong for a premier of this province to intentionally avoid speaking with concerned islanders. His dodging of the public speaks volumes about his integrity and responsibility.finger-wade-maclauchlan
Did CBC Compass send an investigative reporter to ask the Premier about this rude and intentional snub of islanders? No, in fact very little was even said about the incident. Instead, we are treated to the usual inane buffoonery of Bruce Rainnie and Kevin Gallant and the stale jokes that substitutes for news and weather.
Respectfully submitted F.Ben Rodgers Abram Village
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CBC Compass Buffoonery

CBC Compass Buffoonery (No subject)

Below is a letter I sent to the editor some weeks ago, for reasons only known to the Guardian it was never published? One wonders if the CBC Compass and the news media are in cahoots with the present liberal government. Do they have a policy that only allows suitably worded information about the premier to be published???? Dodging Islanders with concerns over government policies (school closures) does not reflect a premier who cares what we think wade-the-weasle

Letter to the Editor (dated 18th January 2017)

Weekday evenings we are subjected to an hour long program of island news “Compass”  But do we really get news?   The other evening fifty or more parents-teachers-students staged a protest over school closures. They had hoped to meet with the Premier to state their concerns. However, he must have been more transparent than usual because he managed to sneak into the building without one protester seeing him. Whatever he thinks, it is wrong for a premier of this province to intentionally avoid speaking with concerned islanders. His dodging of the public speaks volumes about his integrity and responsibility.finger-wade-maclauchlan
Did CBC Compass send an investigative reporter to ask the Premier about this rude and intentional snub of islanders? No, in fact very little was even said about the incident. Instead, we are treated to the usual inane buffoonery of Bruce Rainnie and Kevin Gallant and the stale jokes that substitutes for news and weather.
Respectfully submitted F.Ben Rodgers Abram Village

God Bless and keep reading.

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Plummeting Legion Membership

I must apologize for offering quite inaccurate legion membership numbers! I seem to be off target by almost 100.000!!!! It now looks like we have approximately 160,000 voting members not the 240.000 I had earlier suggested. legion

Royal Canadian Legion (Membership) The corruption is killing them. Numbers Don’t Lie

No automatic alt text available.
One could speculate that the present Legion administration in a serious free fall. Frankly I see very little that might help stop the flow of the life blood of this once great veteran organization.
God Bless and keep reading
 
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