Weekend Funnies


First Salute

The first salute received by a freshly commissioned Second Lieutenant is always significant. It’s symbolizes authority and prestige.

When I pinned on my new Air Force gold bars and stepped out to face the world, I encountered a staff sergeant.

He gave me a snappy salute and said, “Good morning, Lieutenant. Your hat is on backwards, sir.”

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

The Irish 

Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they decide to take them to a police station.

Mick: “What if one explodes before we get there?”

Paddy: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.” 

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

How to get an A in psychology Class. 

It was a practical session in the psychology class. The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.

The rat was in the middle of the cage. Then, the professor put a piece of cake on one side and put a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.

Then, the professor changed the cake and replaced it with some bread. The male rat again ran towards the bread.

This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.

And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.

Professor asked the students: This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction, do you agree?

Then, one of the students from the back rows said: “Sir, why don’t you change the female rat? This one might be his wife!”

The professor stood straight up, his finger pointing towards the student and said “You just got an A.”

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Church Elders

A pastor wanted to find out how the children were coming along in their Bible classes. So he visited one of them to ask the children a few Bible related questions.

“Billy, tell me who tore down the walls of Jericho?” asked the pastor. Billy replied very seriously, “Pastor, I don’t know who did it, but I sure do know I didn’t do it!”

The pastor left the room stunned. It troubled him so much that he decided to tell one of his best elders what Billy said.

The elder thought for a moment and said, “Well, pastor, let me tell you. I know the boy and his family real well. If he said he didn’t tear it down, you can be assured he didn’t do it. I say we forget the whole thing and use the money in the miscellaneous fund to rebuild it.”

Sounds like the Elder should have been a politician!!!

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Today’s world 

The 5 stages of buying petrol.

1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance …

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

About irishroverpei

Author of "Lily & Me", "The Royal Navy & Me" and Chapter XXl Armageddon. Writer, blogger and RN Submariner, antique automobile enthusiast.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.